Thursday, March 11, 2010

March 5 Draft

I broke the half way point. I'm aiming for somewhere between 24-28 minutes, and the movie is pushing 13 minutes right now. The structure feels good -- all the blocks are in place to return to Mike and Zack after the end of this clip. In fact, here's the structure so far:

Clown Prologue:
I changed the very, very beginning, and I like it. The clown now says a line over black screen that provides the tone-setter that I think we needed. Its just the beginning of the clip I'm already using, which is very convenient.

Opening Montage:
Will it get longer? Who knows. I forgot to add the musical transition from the clown to the montage, so I will fix that on the next upload.

Mule Days History:
Still intact.

Mike and Zack:
I'm trying to flesh out the introduction to Mike and Zack without slamming it home that they are our main characters. I want to walk a line between that loose, look-over-here kind of portraiture and actually directing the audience toward some important characters, and right now I think it is heading in the right direction. I just don't want it to feel too aimless. There's a bit that I dropped in about Mike's prayer and what it means, and I'm currently trying to make that clip longer and more family oriented to tie into the next clip about packing. Trying to do this was frustrating me, so here I am writing about the current draft.

I love the parade and the national anthem.

Announcer's Story:
I hope that I can blend the announcer's story with him telling us about Mule Days events. That way he's not just a narrator, but a person whose story happens to be the event we want to know about. It would be ideal to eliminate the line between narrator / person. I think it works pretty well right now, but could be better (how, though, I don't know).

He'll then bring us back to Mike via the Pack Race.

There's still the question of Tucker. Right now the most organic way to get to him is via the announcer: he mentions Tucker, says some things about him; not my ideal way to introduce anybody, but we'll see how it goes. Various rearrangements are already fluttering around in my head: it is possible that we could start Tucker's chapter after the parade, then come back to Mike and Zack via the announcer telling us about the various events.

This might be the way to go, since I have a feeling that Mike and Zack's story is going to have to end in the last minutes of the movie, since they are our biggest emotional thread. I'm half way through on the time limit, but I might already be in the third act of Mike and Zack's story. I have 2 segments in my head right now that come AFTER this draft ends: Mike and Zack's final segment, and the announcer's closing statements. Other additions include: a "Mule People"segment, various small interviews with a number of people, and Tucker. These may all come in the middle of the movie.

YouTube videos can't exceed 10 minutes, so next upload may be split in two. Keep you posted.

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