Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Slightly Under Four Minutes of Holy Shit

In terms of pages to screen time, it's pretty accurate. The script was never formatted into Final Draft and in my experience it might have been about 20% longer in FD. Still pretty accurate, if you consider about 20 seconds are spent w/o dialogue (the faces sequence). This was the director's choice.

This is pages 3-to-top-of-6 in the script. The scene is the introduction of all four of these characters, and works fine as a starting point (in relation to the script). However it's not meant to stand-alone like this, and I can't really tell how much it is affected. I don't think it captures the after-party vibe I wanted, for various reasons. There isn't a sense of it being morning, for example.

Chris (in the car) does fine but his character develops later in the script and here does very little. I don't like the actor who played Adam (Susie's Bathroom Blues and the penis dream monologue). I like the actor who played Samuel (The Expensive Liquor Mystery). Valerie is good too. I hate the kind of laugh they do after Susie's Bathroom Blues.

It basically captures what I wrote. Like Strong Men I'm very worried at the beginning and by the end I discover my characters. Repeat viewings (as w/Strong Men) help, and I have to both accept that part of this is because I avoid exposition and recognize weaknesses in this method. Part of the problem is that I don't build the characters, they just materialize as they are, as if you already know them and their significance. I could do this more successfully. What's true of the characters is also true of the scene. Again the emotional development worked differently from script to screen. I don't think as much as in Strong Men, though there aren't the time/place jumps there were in that script.

As a single scene I think I failed in developing/transitioning. I'd like to see all the pages together, to see what difference it'd make. I am proud of the mistakes it doesn't make, but I don't know how much that matters. Very little I suppose.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Ohhhhhh man I'm so excited to see the rest. The shot with the dude sleeping in the car and the three standing and talking is fabulous. "That's mind control, it doesn't work on me."....funny stuff.