Who says nothing exciting happens in Moscow?
I met a superhero. I bet you don't get that shit in LA (well, except herzog)
So, tuesday night, me and my band where sitting and drinking cheap cheap wine, when all of a sudden the door swings open, and out from the shadows pops a Ninja. Thats right, a fucking Ninja- Dressed in black spandex (yes, you could see his cod and all), short katana (prefered sword of the ninja), grappling hook, blow gun, some sort of knife, and ninja claw gloves- a honest to god Ninja.
Now, useually when a stranger pops through your door wielding various oriental weopns, you'd expect some sort of panic. But, we all assumed that someone else in the room knew him. His face was covered except for the eyes, and I had no idea who he was, but it was so riddiculousy absurd that I thought he's got to be someones friend and just said "high", waving my bottle of Boonsfarm. We went to shake his hand, but he advised against it due to his climbing claws. It was at this point that the room suddenly realised we have no fucking idea who this man in a pervert suit before us was, and began asking questions.
The first was an obvious one: "Are you a good ninja or a shifty ninja?". It turn out, thankfuly, that he was a good ninja, and that he saw us walking back from the gas station and decided to say hello. Apparently this is his thrid year in town, and he just wanted to spred the word that he was back. We then inquired to what he did as a ninja. Along with various stunts, such as climbing tall buildings, he has an email that you can contact him if you are in need of vengence. Apparently, he mainly beats the shit out of people who have comited date rape, with the other majority being a kind of "don't do drugs" campaign, jumping into peoples houses and scaring them sober. He says he has never used his sword, for which he is thankful.
Well, he refused our drinks (he's stone sober like a good ninja), we took some pictures posing with the man, and he went along his way (well, we think he went onto the roof and listed to our coversation, to which he later used a blowgun to deliver the message that my love for him made him uneasy), leaving us in disbeliefe to what happened. We where drunk at the time, or at least getting there, so a series of "WHAT THE FUCKS!" insued, as well as a conversation on his horse dong (hense him being uneasy on our roof).
The bottom line: Yes, this shit just happened, non of this is embelished, and he's on face book, but under some alias that someone else runs for him. So! If your ever in town and just got robbed, contact the UIninja@hotmail.com for some free justice.
This shit just doesn't happen.